My name is Amida,* and this is my story. I was born in Central Asia to a mother and a father, but their marriage didn't work out. When I was two years old, they divorced.
My mother remarried, but it was not good for me. When I was 8 years old, my stepfather started abusing me. It continued until I was 15 years old. Several times I argued with my father and threatened him that I would tell my mother what he did to me. But she didn't believe me, because he is your stepfather and he loves youas she said. The mood in the family changed for the worse and the abuse destroyed me. One night, when I was 15, he came home drunk, went into my room and closed the door. But even that didn't convince my mother and I left my home. I just had to get away.
I moved in with some friends and after a while people started coming to pay me for sex. I needed the money and I did it. In the beginning it was incredibly difficult, but it became normal over time.
After I left home, my parents started fighting and my stepfather left my mother. I had to help her support herself and sent her some of the money I earned as a prostitute.
Pregnancy stopped the beating
After a while in the industry, I met a young man and I fell in love. We moved in together, but he hit me. After the fights, I sometimes ended up in the hospital because he beat me so much. Because of my trauma, I was told I wouldn't be able to have children. But two months later I got pregnant anyway. I was 17 and I told my husband that I wanted to give the best to the baby. So we agreed that he wouldn't hit me anymore and that we would raise the child well together. But that didn't work either. Just before my boy was 1 year old, he hit me again - so I took the baby and left him.
Now I had a baby at 19 - and no money. So I started working as a prostitute again to support my boy. Until I was in my mid-20s, I sold myself for money. I kept trying to find a man to marry and start a family. But it failed every time - and I realized that the problem was me. I hated men. I started thinking more about life and remembered some of the things I had been told in the churches I had attended since I was a child. I had heard about God's love, and although I couldn't accept that it applied to me, it disturbed me - because it was normal people talking about this love. Later, I would come to know it.
Deathly ill with AIDS
But first I ended up in the hospital. I had contracted AIDS and pneumonia, and while I was terminally ill in the hospital at the age of 24, my mother came to check on me. The doctors told her not to spend money on medicine because I would probably die. They wanted to write prescriptions, but they thought she should spend the money on my son instead. My son also came to visit and said: Mom, I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to die. I was very weak and couldn't walk. I remember feeling like I wasn't alone in the room. I was in a private room, but I felt something. So I asked God with fear about what was going to happen. I heard a voice say to me: If you forgive yourself, you will live.
That experience started an inner struggle to forgive myself. I thought it was impossible. I cried and asked God to help me forgive myself. I was transferred to a new hospital where there was a doctor who had an idea of experimental medicine. It wasn't used in the country, but he wanted to try it on me. Over the next six months, I recovered and was discharged. But I missed my life as a prostitute and moved abroad where there was more money in selling sex. While living there, I joined an Orthodox church where I asked God to give me a family and more children.
The turning point
After a while, I came back to my home country to celebrate New Year with my family and there I met a young man who was serious about me and wanted to be with me. He had just one requirement: I had to join his church if we were going to get married. I went and was part of the church, but I was not a believer. I prayed the sinner's prayer, but it was just the pastor's words that I repeated. Six months after our first meeting, we got married in his church and the following month I got pregnant. The doctors gave no guarantee that my weakened body would be able to cope with childbirth, but it was successful and I gave birth to a healthy boy. I went to church with the children and one Sunday God touched me during the sinner's prayer. This time it was not just empty words that I repeated. That day I realized how many sins I had - but I also knew that God would forgive me. That became my prayer, and from that day on, my life changed. I never went back to prostitution and I started living a life that God wants for me. I forgave myself and I learned to forgive others. My approach to other people has also changed. When I meet people on the street, I now find myself going up to them and asking if I can pray for them. It's amazing!
But after my conversion, my world quickly became difficult to live in again. I discovered that my husband had been hiding something from me. He was a drug addict. It put me under pressure and hurt me. At the same time, I had also gotten pregnant again, even though we had used contraception. People around me thought I should have an abortion because I couldn't handle another birth and a child. I was living with my mother-in-law, but she demanded that I had to have an abortion if I wanted to stay. So I went to my own mother, but she wouldn't help either. Only God and the church supported me, but I had the baby anyway. My husband came and went, lived in the house, left, came back - and so it went on for a while while I looked after my teenage son and the two little boys.
Five years ago, I wanted to go to Bible school, but I didn't have the time or money, so instead I attended a program for abused women that my church had. There I got help for my life and learned more about God's word. The pastor also advised me to break up with my husband, who was still an addict, because it was unhealthy and destructive for me. God transformed me through teaching me the Bible over the next few months. He taught me to forgive so that I could have a better relationship with both my mother and mother-in-law, who now help me study and support my three children. The oldest boy is in university now, while the other two come here to church. I tried to get my husband to change his lifestyle and we also gave our marriage another chance, but we didn't succeed.
Helping women in prostitution
The first time I came to church, there was singing: God, you are my rock. I will not be afraid of anything. I will trust you - even in the storm. I wanted to find the rock, but I didn't know how. Today, I have found that rock. My thoughts about who I am and what I'm worth have turned 180 degrees. I am valuable and I believe that now. I've been given a fire to help people in the same situation as me and have had the opportunity to do so. I have worked at a public clinic for HIV patients as a social worker and shared my testimony there. Some of the people I spoke to became believers and joined the church.
In this country, prostitution is a big problem. It's very normal to do if you are in a critical situation like me, but for some it's also a way to get the new iPhone faster. I try to do what I can, and right now a young girl who has a child is living with me. Her husband kicked her out, so now she's living with me so she doesn't have to sell herself on the street.
I've had a hard life, but God loves me and he also loves all the women who walk the streets. I'm excited to be able to share the gospel with them. Because it can transform their lives like it transformed mine. Pray for the women of this country. Hallelujah!
*The name has been changed for security reasons and the image is a model photo. Amida comes to one of the churches that the Danish European Mission collaborates with.
