"He physically and verbally abused me and my children. And every time we asked for food, he beat us.", says Anisa, who fought through a subjugating and horrific marriage for the sake of her children. Anisa is one of the women currently receiving crisis counseling at the shelter and job training center that the Danish European Mission supports in Central Asia (for security reasons we cannot name the country), and whom I was privileged to meet when I visited the shelter recently.
The marriage that started well
In the first year of Anisa's marriage, all is well. Until she gives birth to the couple's first child, a baby girl. Amir, Anisa's husband, and his mother are clearly unhappy and disappointed that she has given birth to a daughter. Their disdain for girl children will never end and they make life difficult for Anisa.
Things escalate when Amir allows his mistress to move into the house and when he begins to physically abuse Anisa. Anisa, who has now given birth to three girls, decides to return to her homeland to live with her parents and children. When Amir's mistress also gives birth to a daughter, she is thrown out.
Anisa returns to her husband
After Amir brings Anisa back home, all seems well. When Anisa gives birth to her fourth daughter, the trouble starts all over again, and although the couple's fifth child is a boy, Amir's temper doesn't soften.
Anisa says: "We may have had a good relationship for a short time, but then after a while his mother said something and it started all over again. He physically and verbally abused me and my children. And every time we asked for food, he beat us. He didn't provide for us.". Anisa had to work hard in the baking heat in the fields to earn money to feed her children.
The missing passport
One day, Anisa discovers that her passport is missing and she is certain that there is a deliberate act behind its disappearance. Anisa, a citizen of the neighboring country, travels with her husband's permission to her home country to get a new passport. Anisa is told the process will only take two weeks, but it ends up taking two years. Cut off from seeing her children, Anisa calls home regularly. For the first few months she is allowed to talk to her children, but later she is told that they won't talk to her.
The joy of reunion drowns in sorrow
In February 2017, Anisa receives her new passport and can finally return home to her family. Fearing their father, the children are afraid to welcome their mother as she stands outside the house. Amir belittles her by saying: "Here's your mom, who left you for two years and didn't even call you."
Anisa talks heartbreakingly about the reunion with her children: "I didn't recognize my children because they were so afraid of their father. My two oldest girls took care of the other children and all the housework was on their shoulders. They were so afraid of their father. Even if they got sick, they never told him. And on a sick day, they were afraid to go to the bathroom because they didn't want to annoy him. And when I came back, they were afraid to call me mom because he was brainwashing them.", says Anisa.
Anisa flees with only three of her children
The situation at home is now so tense that Anisa fears for her life and the lives of her children, and her three young children plead with her: "Mom, please don't leave us. If you go, take us with you. Even though we will have a hard life, we will be with you. We don't want to be separated from you." One night Anisa escapes with her three youngest children, but before that she cries and begs her eldest daughters to come with her: "But they didn't want to come with me because they are protecting their father. They said, 'Get out of this house' because he has brainwashed them", says Anisa. When Amir said: "I will kill you. Even though I will go to jail, I will kill you and keep the children with me", Anisa knew she had to escape.
Anisa thanks Danish European Mission's donors
Although Anisa has only been living in the shelter for two months, she is delighted with the help she has received here: "Thanks to you guys. Where would I go if you weren't there? 100 times and 1000 times thank you, it's really good to be here. My children are being fed and they have calmed down. Here they can be in a calm environment. If they get sick, they get medical attention. A counselor comes and works with me and my children, which is really good. I'm also grateful that the housewives and counselors work with my children because the children had no respect for me before. They wouldn't call me mom, but now after we've been here they call me mom and they try to respect me and have a different attitude.".
You can give hope to women in the Muslim world who are going through so much. Women like Anisa are invited into the safe community of the shelter and given time and professional help to recover. The women also receive job training, counseling, legal and medical support, and shelter in our project. The project is run by local Christians who are persecuted themselves, but who have a strong calling to make a positive difference for those in need in their community. Thank you for lending a helping hand by supporting and praying for the work.
