For most women, menstruation is regular, but for Gülcan, who suffered from polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), menstruation was not a given - and the disease could become an obstacle to having children.
I meet Gülcan at a church in Turkey, which Danish European Mission improvers and donors support in training leaders, planting churches and sharing God's love with people. When my traveling companion and I arrive at the church, she is sharing the message of the Bible with seeking Turks. Gülcan tells us:
"I was a very conservative Muslim and my parents are still very conservative Muslims. They fast for Ramadan and pray five times a day. I started reading the Quran when I was eight years old and learned Arabic as a child but didn't understand it. I was very dedicated."
"When I was in school, I was teased a lot. Maybe because I was very curious and outgoing as a person. I was even hit and pushed. It affected me and I asked why God could allow this. Mom told me that Allah was good. In Islam, children are without sin and I wondered why other children teased me and were not good."
When I was in school, I was teased a lot. Maybe because I am a very curious and outgoing person. I was even hit and pushed.
- Gulcan
Why doesn't Allah answer?
"My father and mother gave me books about Islam. For example, one title was: Is Allah good and why don't we see Allah? Meanwhile, I was being teased and could not accept the bullying. I asked why, but Allah doesn't answer, he doesn't talk to people."
"I started hating Allah and became interested in science, evolutionary theory and philosophy in my early teens. I started questioning the existence of God. How can he be good if the world is evil. I came to the conclusion that God does not exist and does not love people.My parents were shocked when I told them about my evolution. But they accepted what I said."
"At 15, I hated Islam. I was very sad and felt that I couldn't love others. I kept asking "Why?" all the time. At 16, I attempted suicide for the first time. The suicide attempts continued after that."
Completely free - but empty inside
"At 18, I left home and went to university. I lived on my own and was completely free. I was looking for happiness and joy, but I felt empty. I felt like the emptiness was eating me from the inside and killing me. I started abusing alcohol and experimenting with drugs. I was numb and if I felt anything, it was only sadness. I was suicidal. I was convinced I was going to die at 19."
I felt like the emptiness was eating me from the inside and killing me. I started abusing alcohol and experimenting with drugs. I was numb and if I felt anything it was only sadness. I was suicidal.
- Gülcan
"Objectively speaking, I should be happy as I had money, freedom, good grades, many friends and everything I needed - worldly speaking. I may have been smiling, but inside I was crying. I drank and started drinking more and more."
Read more about the church in Turkey here...
Gülcan dreamed at night about church
"I had many dreams about church. Turks believe that dreams are important - that bad dreams are from the devil and good dreams come from God. And I started dreaming about churches. From a very young age, I had dreamed that I would be in a church, sing and dance in a church, build a church and get married in a church. When I told my mother about these dreams as a child, she took me to the mosque so a mullah could pray for me - that these dreams would go away.However, I often thought about these dreams, so I was more curious about Christianity than Buddhism. I was given a Bible, but I didn't understand it. I went to a church. The Christians in the church talked to me, but they didn't share the gospel with me."
"I later came to this church where we are now sitting. The people from the church prayed for me, but I felt nothing. A year later I was in the area again, and that night I was going to a dance party, but had nothing else to do. I happened to walk by the church. My attitude was that I was an atheist, I knew it all, I was very selfish, but I went into the church, not to learn, but to disprove. I thought if someone believes in a higher power, they're stupid."
"I sat down and asked questions about creation and evolution. I asked whether God is good or not. They answered from the Bible. I was surprised by their answers because they didn't say like others: I mean this, I mean that. The people were very bold and I could see that they really meant what they said."
"We kept talking for four hours. In the end, I was the only one they talked to. I learned about how man is born with sin, what the meaning of the cross is, and why Jesus resurrected. We talked about the gospel from top to bottom, it made sense, but I didn't feel anything. I said to them: It's logical, but it doesn't make sense. They said, 'God will show you'. They asked, 'Can we pray for you? What they didn't know was that I couldn't have children because of polycystic ovarian syndrome. One woman prayed: 'God will you speak to her in a way she understands that surpasses her logical sense'. After the prayer, I really wanted to feel something but felt nothing. I was really sad and felt like having a fist fight with God. I was very disappointed."
The tangible presence of the Holy Spirit
"The church was about to close, so I went to the bathroom. When I looked at the toilet paper, it was covered in blood. I hadn't had my period for nine months." With a small smile, Gülcan tells my tour guide and me: "Now I'm a woman and I have to say that periods usually start with a little blood, but the toilet paper was completely covered in blood. I was so happy, it was so strange, so peaceful. My heart started beating like a racehorse and my hands and knees were shaking. I can't even describe it. The Holy Spirit came at that moment and showed me that this was a touch from Him. I started crying and knew that now I had the answer. I couldn't go down the stairs at all and had to hold on to the banister. I was very shocked. I had never felt that before. For the first time in my life, I had an answer to prayer."
"The people at the church tried to reassure me. 'Don't worry, you've been healed. You feel the presence of God.' After five minutes in the presence of the Holy Spirit, I was convinced that I was sinful. They invited me to a women's meeting three days later. I said 'What, it's so long!' Ok, I took the bus and started praying. I prayed like this: 'I don't know who you are, but I want to know you. I don't want to go to hell.' Three days later there was a women's luncheon and at that meeting I accepted Jesus as my savior. The doctors are very shocked by what happened, they did an ultrasound and everything is fine."
"I didn't really want to live until I was 19, but God truly gave me a new life. I was like dead, but now I'm alive and happy about it," Gülcan says with a smile. "I am now part of the church."
Conflict in the family because of Gülcan's choice
"I shared my faith with my family, who did not immediately accept my choice. It was a turbulent time because I am very close to my mother. She said that my father would write me off as a daughter, but I didn't accept that. Yes, it says that Jesus comes between children and parents, but I didn't accept it. In church we prayed and fasted a lot for the situation. I told my parents: 'You can say what you want, but I will always be your daughter.' God has worked in them, their hearts have become soft. They no longer tell me not to go to church, but they still have to get used to it. My father won't talk to me about faith and my mother thinks I'll come back. But they call me 'daughter'."
"God works in many ways. God is working in Turkey. There has been much prayer and I believe we are now in a time of harvest. A pastor told me that I am the fruit of many prayers over many years. It is a time of revival in Turkey and God is preparing us for this time."
"I was baptized, it was so powerful. My mother cried when I was baptized and my father didn't speak to me for a month. But I have never regretted being baptized and feeling the presence of God.Getting baptized in Turkey is a crucial step. Friends and family ask: Are you baptized? It means that you have really chosen to become a Christian."
It is touching to hear this story. You are filled with gratitude for what God is doing in Turkey and that Danes are part of it through prayer and financial support.
Facts: How many Christian converts are there in Turkey?
There are an estimated 10,000 convert Christians in Turkey. For many years the number remained stable at 4,500 converts, with some becoming Christians and others falling away. In recent years, the number has increased.
