"The agents threw me out of the car on a patch of unfinished highway outside of town. I was bleeding from my many wounds and had no idea where I was or how to get home. I hadn't seen Mersedeh* for hours, but luckily a car came and gave me a ride home. When I got home, I gathered the most important things, found Mersedeh and drove to a friend's house where we hid until we fled the country a week later," says Nima* as he shows me his scars.
Sleep still doesn't come easily to him, but Mersedeh and Nima have kept the faith through persecution and hard times. Nima grew up in a Christian family, while Mersedeh became a Christian after they got married.
Mersedeh and her family were Muslim, but they rarely went to the mosque. Her father was the only one in the family who prayed Namaz - the five daily prayers, the family's girls wore hijab when they left home, and they also fasted during Ramadan. Otherwise, Islam was primarily a cultural thing that bound Mersedeh's family together with their neighbors and compatriots in Iran.
"Dad prayed Namaz because he was afraid of death and wanted to make the reckoning on the Day of Judgment better for himself. But it also gave him a peace of mind to pray, so when he and my mother divorced, I sought the prayer for reassurance. It was so hard to see Dad leave us and take my two brothers with him. They distanced themselves from me and my mom, but I tried to forgive them in my prayers to God. It gave me peace, and after praying, I was a completely different person the next day. I leaned on God and relied on him during my teenage years," says Mersedeh about her teenage years when her mother supported her as a single mother.
"The Muslim culture in Iran says there must be a man in the family, so being a single mom is not easy, and my mom had a hard time. When I was in my 20s and I was looking for a husband, I prayed to God for a man of faith."
A Muslim man came by the house and wanted to talk about marriage with Mersedeh. But he wanted someone who practiced Islam more than she did, so Mersedeh and her mother turned him down. But Mersedeh had a friend - Nima - and even though he was a Christian, he was a good man of faith. So when he came over and asked for Mersedeh's hand, they said yes, and a few months later Mersedeh and Nima were married.
"I knew Nima was a Christian, but honestly, I thought Islam and Christianity were so similar that it didn't make much difference. As long as Nima was a man of faith. But I was to become wiser - because I got to know Jesus."
At the government office where Nima and Mersedeh were getting married, Nima had to say he was Muslim to avoid getting in trouble for marrying Mersedeh.
"It's not a nice thing to have to do, but that's how it was," says Nima, whose family came to Iran a few generations ago and brought the faith with them. They attended a local, officially approved church, but Mersedeh could not attend because the church was not open to converts. The government regularly came to monitor the congregation, and if they found a Muslim, the church risked big problems and might even be closed down. Therefore, Mersedeh had to learn about Jesus from his in-laws.
"Jesus is the difference. He changed my life" - Mersedeh
"I could sense that there was something different about Nima's family. There are many nice and good people in Iran - Muslims and Christians - but there was something special about Nima's family. They didn't expect anything in return for their good deeds, unlike many of the Muslims I knew. There was something special in their family, so I became curious and had to get to know the one they believed in. So before our wedding, I went to a week-long Christianity course outside Iran. There I got to know Jesus and realized that Christianity and Islam are not the same at all. Jesus is the difference. He changed my life," Mersedeh says, beaming with joy.
When she returned to Iran, a local Christian became her teacher. She would raise Mersedeh in the faith and teach her more about who Jesus was. Mersedeh read the Bible with her and could ask any questions she had.
"Together with her, I discovered that Jesus really was God. That's when Jesus transformed me. But I still couldn't go to church. I remember the first Christmas I was a Christian, we were turned away at the church door. They couldn't risk accepting converts. I was so excited to go to church and it was a big blow for me. But if they had let me in, they would have risked punishment or closure, so I can also understand that it's a difficult choice."
After the rejection, Mersedeh and Nima started a house church in their home. Friends and family attended, and new members were only allowed to join the service after several conversations to make sure it wasn't government agents trying to infiltrate the church.
"We were always nervous when we sat in the church service, because at any moment the police could burst in and close the congregation. Of course, we took our precautions and made sure that people didn't come at the same time, that we didn't sing so loudly that we disturbed neighbors and so on. The intelligence services were looking for us and we tried to avoid being caught by them," says Nima, who was one of the church leaders.
A handful of men came out of the car, blindfolded me, tied me up and threw me into the car - Nima
Despite all the precautions, things went wrong one day. Nima was on his way home from work, but he never made it to the house. On the road, a black car with tinted windows pulled up.
"A handful of men came out of the car, blindfolded me, tied me up and threw me into the car. All the way in the car they beat me. They were shouting in my face and I was so shocked that I couldn't even think. I didn't know where I was being taken, but maybe it was a prison, a police station or a secret place for the secret service. I could hear a lot of people shouting, screaming and making noise, but I was blindfolded and couldn't see anything. I was still being beaten, and although they took few breaks, they kept coming back to beat me. For the first few hours I wasn't asked anything, but the agents just said I was a Christian and continued to beat me. I was accused of being a spy for Israel and a missionary in Iran who wanted to trick people into becoming Christians. I denied being a spy, liar or missionary, but it made no difference. They claimed they had movies and pictures of me and continued to beat me up. Finally, they forced me to sign three pieces of white paper. I signed, and then they could fill out the charges themselves afterwards," says Nima, who can still hear the shouts from prison and feel the scars on his body.
When Nima was reunited with Mersedeh, they immediately fled Iran and have now found a safe home in the West. But they still have love for Jesus and for the Iranian people.
Knowing Jesus has been worth all the persecution.
"It's hard that I have a friend in Iran who believes, but I can't be with her physically. We didn't get to say goodbye because we fled so quickly. Fortunately, we can communicate online with our friends and family and through that we can try to spread the gospel. There are so many people who want to hear about Jesus and get to know him better. My brother and mother have come to faith, and they are just a few of many. But because of the situation in Iran, it's hard for Muslims to get to know Jesus as more than just the Prophet Jesus. And those who have come to know Jesus as their savior have a hard time finding leaders for the churches because the leaders are arrested and persecuted. I pray that people in Iran and around the world come to know Jesus. This is the most important thing that has happened in my life and knowing Jesus has been worth all the persecution. I miss my family, I lost my life in Iran and my new life is not smooth, but it doesn't matter because I know Jesus," says Mersedeh, while Nima adds:
"There is only one true God, and it is His Son who saves. Jesus says, I have given everything for you and I am with you when you face trouble for my name's sake. So even though I still struggle with the scars from the torture, in a weird way I'm happy about it - because it's because of Jesus. And he's worth it all."
*Names have been changed for security reasons
